

And embarrassingly, it only keeps getting worse when Bella finally bothers to notice her broodingly sulky husband standing nearby, waiting for her immortal resurrection - along with an acting career separate from this histrionic ignominy. Not because it's any good, but because the opening minutes are already ridiculously silly.

Whatever the thinking - or the lack thereof - may be, I must admit to being mildly entertained. And noticing the way light gleams and sparkles off the dust in the air? And becoming aware of the fiber textures of paper? Is there really nothing else a little more interesting to ponder in the Cullen household? Perhaps, someone should reexamine the script from Melissa Rosenberg or ask why director Bill Condon thinks this is significant. Picking up moments after the conclusion of Part 1, Bella (Kristen Stewart looking as if she hasn't eaten in months) examines the world for the first time with her vampire eyes, watching droplets of water run down the side of a vase. They are far more enjoyable as absurd comedies than as serious pieces of film about supernatural romance. Then again, the surprise twist during the climactic battle of the Cullens versus the Volturi still lingers in the back of my mind, but only to make me angry for being such an idiotic, amateur curb ball.Īfter finally suffering through all five, excessively maudlin chapters of three ridiculously lovelorn kids, I'm convinced the 'Twilight' movies are actually one, big fat joke. It's amazing to see something so juvenile and simplistic celebrated for being just that, with very little, if any at all, worth remembering. In fact, audiences are made to endure four different endings before switching to an atrociously tacky, soap-opera-like closing credits sequence commemorating four years of pure melodrama garbage. The concluding chapter in the 'Twilight Saga' series - this is number five from a series that totals only four books - arrives with a bit more action and excitement than its predecessors, but ultimately finishes with a frustratingly disappointing whimper.
